President Christine Carla Kangaloo was confronted with her death twenty years ago when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
And while there were many difficulties in getting rid of the unwanted guest, it also gave her life lessons that she may not have otherwise learned. “It did change my life,” she stated.
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Kangaloo added, “It has strengthened me and made me deeply appreciate life.”
This, for women who are not accustomed to having others notice their vulnerability, may occasionally be challenging, “It showed me that there was strength I had that I didn’t know I had; it taught me resilience; it taught me to lean on other people.”
The president noted, “I don’t like being vulnerable, and I don’t like people seeing me vulnerable. I grew up like a little tomboy with my brothers, and having gone through what I did, I realized it’s okay to be vulnerable.”
She noted, “So I was able to rely on people, and let those close to me see that I wasn’t okay all the time, and I opened myself up to the love they were all willing to give me.”
In an October 8 discussion with reporters at the President’s House, Kangaloo said, “But those were some difficult lessons.”
Kangaloo was 42 years old when he received a diagnosis of Stage 2 receptor-positive cancer in March 2004. This form of cancer permits cancer cells to thrive by using the hormone estrogen.
“I actually felt the lump in my breast, and I immediately went to my ob/gyn and she was concerned, so she sent me to do a biopsy.”
The president stated that she had a persistent suspicion that the outcome would not please her even while she awaited the report.
“So, when I received the news, I wasn’t as shocked as I would have ordinarily have been.”
She added that as soon as possible, she and her spouse, fellow lawyer Kerwyn Garcia, enquired about the doctor’s alternatives for her course of treatment and began to formulate a strategy.
Her initial thought was to tell her mother what was going on, but she claimed not to have reacted emotionally in any way.
She then reported to Parliament for duty as a government senator and a minister in the Office of the Prime Minister despite everything that was going on.
“I remember having to go to the Senate that day, but I needed to speak to my mother and tell her in person. I knew I needed to do it that day.”
She requested Dr. Lenny Saith, the then-head of government business, for permission to go early.
“He said ‘yes,’ and I headed straight down to San Fernando to meet with my mother.”
Talking about her mother’s 1993 automobile collision loss of her younger daughter, 29-year-old Caryl, made it a challenging topic.
“My mother is very stoic, but you could see the worry and emotion on her face when I told her.”
After that, she disclosed her diagnosis to her brothers.
Kangaloo underwent a lumpectomy, four rounds of chemotherapy, and radiation therapy. She added that her friends and family had supported her through it all.
“I remember all my brothers and my husband gathering around me just as I was going into surgery and were waiting for me when I came out. They were all there, except one brother who stayed back with Mom at home. But my other brothers were calling to tell them exactly what was happening.”
She added that up until then, she had kept her cool about the whole thing. Before moving on to the next stage of her treatment, she had to undergo testing following the operation to see if the disease had spread. This was when the emotional rollercoaster began.
“I remember waiting for the test results and that was when emotions started to play. ‘If it had spread, what do I do?’
“We already knew it was cancer, just not how far. So the waiting and not knowing was difficult.”
She began chemotherapy approximately a month after the operation, thankfully, because the findings were positive.
“It was brutal,” the president said. “I remember I would schedule the therapy for Saturday mornings and then rest for the rest of the day and on Sunday, because I was still determined that I had to be at work on Monday…”
Kangaloo noted, “At that time I was the minister responsible for social services delivery.”
She appeared to do better in the first round because it did not appear to have a significant physical impact on her.
“I said, ‘Okay, I’m not feeling too bad.’
“By the second round, I started to feel ill, and the worst part was when my hair started to come out in clumps. Of course I had thought I could have willed my hair not to fall off,” she said with a chuckle. “But that didn’t happen.”
Of course, the sickness made things much more difficult.
“There were some foods I couldn’t tolerate at all.”
Even though Kangaloo made an effort to have an optimistic attitude during her therapy, she admitted that occasionally accepting reality was upsetting.
“Your emotions are all over the place – you have bouts of sadness and fear, but then you pick up because you know you have to keep up with your treatments, because you know this is to ultimately get you better.”
She found radiation to be far less taxing, but the resulting exhaustion was another obstacle. “Before I was diagnosed I used to go to the gym and exercise. I thought after the chemo and radiation I would be able to start exercising again, but I couldn’t.
“While doing radiation I was able to eat, because I didn’t have the aversion to food that I had with chemo. But I was always extremely tired.”
Despite her exhaustion, Kangaloo was adamant that her job would not be impacted by her treatment, and it even became a type of coping technique.
“I rested on the days I could and work was a focal point that helped prevent me from getting over emotional with what I was going through.”
“I had a very demanding ministry, so there was a lot required to be done. When I look back I wondered how I was able to do it. With the grace of God, I say.”
She received care at the St. James Radiology Centre in addition to private institutions.
Kangaloo feels that her support system was “a form of healing,” and although her medications were crucial to her recovery, she is unsure how she would have survived that incredibly trying period without it.
“My mother, she made sure that whatever I wanted to eat, she would cook and send for me… my husband was with me every step of the way – for every chemo session he was there.”
She added, “My brothers stepped in to help in whatever way, my friends as well. I got so much emotional and tangible support, and I thank God for that.”
The president expressed her sympathy for women who might not have access to such a network and expressed her happiness that certain non-governmental organizations, such as the T&T Cancer Society (TTCS), which she supports, provide some support.
“It was a no-brainer when they (the TTCS) reached out to me to be its patron.
“The fact that there are women who may not have the support of family and friends, and that an organization allows them to feel that connection and to get the help they need – I thought it was very important, because of my experiences, to align myself with the Cancer Society. I am very proud to be the patron.”
Kangaloo makes sure she attends her checkups, and although though she is constantly aware that the disease may come back after 20 years, she has long since moved past her obsession with dread.
“That is how life is – there is joy and sorrow. I am grateful that all has been well with me. I can’t speak for every cancer survivor, but I think there is always that concern that something could happen.
She recall the process, “I remember initially, after my treatment had finished, being concerned and being openly focused on tests, reminding myself, ‘I have to take this test in six months or a year,’ to let me know that everything is fine.”
“And that is something I’ve had to let go; that fear. There is always a concern that something may happen, but I try very hard to live in the mindset that I’m doing all that I can do, and just leave it at that.”
Women should be conscious of their health and be examined, she says, since early diagnosis improves the chances of a better result.
Even while it can be challenging, Kangaloo advised people who have already received a cancer diagnosis not to live in dread, particularly if the disease was discovered early.
“I wasted many years living in fear…It took a long time for that emotional healing, and I am not going to let fear of cancer coming back dominate how I live.”
She asks that these ladies pay attention to their medical plan of action and become informed about what is happening to them.
“Take the advice from your doctors, and not people who come to tell you, ‘Do this,’ and, ‘Don’t eat that.’”
The president also advised the “village” that keeps these women’s heads above water to “be there for them, but take the lead from them.” Avoid giving them too much to think about. Let the patient ask you for what they require.
“Just let them know that you are there for them unconditionally.”
